Lights go up. A man is seated in a chair looking a bit upset and he is staring at the floor. A woman is lying on the floor, she is covered in blood and dead. There is nothing else on the set.
Denmark: (To audience) This is not a good morning. This is not a good morning at all. How am I supposed to get out of this one? Hey, hey don’t look at me! You don’t know who did this. Well, obviously you’d expect there to be some foul play or something. Things can never be black and white when you’re watching it for entertainment. It’s just bizarre. I woke up and here she was dead.
Naomi: (Sits up, to audience) Actually, in this case, it is what it looks like. He killed me. He brought me back to this apartment, sat me down with some wine, left for a minute, came back in and stabbed me.
Demark: (To Naomi) Wait a minute. Don’t tell them that. Ladies and gentlemen this is Naomi Winter. Yes, the Naomi Winter; the actress. How I ended up with her I could barely tell you, but we kind of hit it off didn’t we?
Naomi: I thought we did, until you killed me.
Denmark: I did not!
Naomi: This is your knife!
Denmark: What knife?
Naomi: The one in your hand. Forget it, we’ll get to that later, first let’s finish setting all of this up. (To audience) His name is Denmark. He’s an artist who I’ve been following for some time. He’s sort of got this Jackson Pollack, Chuck Close thing going on where he works really big. Really big. I like that. Anyways, I’ve been stalking his openings and chatting him up. He’s cute.
Naomi: Well, you are. What I really want to do here is to show Denmark here that he killed me.
Denmark: I remember talking to you at the gallery, I remember grabbing a drink, I remember coming back here, talking some more and then nothing. I would definitely remember killing you wouldn’t I? (To someone offstage) Julius, did I kill Naomi Winter last night? Julius? Julius! Come here!
Naomi: Stop that, he’s not here. You should remember. Look at this knife. It’s your knife!
Denmark: What knife?
Naomi: Ok Denmark, come here. Have a seat. (Denmark sits down) Feel this (puts the knife in his hand). Do you feel this knife?
Denmark: I don’t feel anything. This is just all so strange. I could never kill anyone and why would I kill you? I’ve had a major crush on you, ever since you came to my show in April.
Naomi: You had a crush on me?
Denmark: (to audience) I’ve had a total crush on her and not just from her movies. In fact, her movies kind of suck. Romantic comedy’s not my thing. But at my opening? She was amazing. She was talking about art, asking about my work, making connections I could never even thought of! And she loves Chuck Close. Killing is so final, especially after one date. (To Naomi) Please don’t write me off because of this. I guess things have been just kind of weird lately.
Denmark: Yeah. Like kind of off. The apartment. This apartment, it kind of felt empty all of sudden. But not like empty of stuff, like egg shell empty. You know what I mean? It felt fake; kind of surreal. Like everything was a mirage, it just wasn’t real.
Naomi: I was real.
Denmark: Exactly, so I don’t know what happened. You’re the most real thing that’s happened to me in along time.
Naomi: I’m not real. Naomi Winter is an actress. I couldn’t tell you who I am.
Denmark: I know who you are. You were at my openings. All of them! You’re Naomi. You love art and you see beneath what I’m trying to say. All this time, my paintings have had a point, “here’s the point” I tried to say. But you, you just destroyed what I said. You were beyond it. That’s Naomi.
Naomi: You saw all that? (To audience) See, here he goes. I’ve been pissed all morning at him for sleeping with me and killing me and now he gets all cute like this.
Denmark, I’m just an actress. I couldn’t tell you which part of all this is natural.
Denmark: But I could! Naomi, you’re an amazing woman. There’s no way I could have killed you. I want you here with me. I want to be with you. This is completely natural. You in my apartment, don’t you feel it. It doesn’t feel so empty or hollow. (To audience) Picture an egg. That’s us. Now picture us cracking the egg and there’s this whole thing we never saw before. All this stuff around us. That’s me and Naomi, right now.
Naomi: You know Denmark, you’re an ass. But I feel that too. It’s like it all…
Together: stopped moving.
Naomi: I said the same thing.
Aside, enter Julius, Denmark’s roommate. He is just kind of looking around and doing his thing.
Denmark: Julius! You are here! (To audience) Oh him? That’s Julius. He’s my roommate. Julius doesn’t believe in chance. He’s a fate guy. Right Julius?
Denmark: If we were to propose this predicament to Julius right now, he would say it was fate that I woke up with a dead actress at my feet.
Julius: (Walks to the front of the stage) Is that Naomi Winter?
Denmark: Yes. I woke up and she was dead at my feet. She says I killed her.
Julius: It was fate if you did.
Denmark: I didn’t!
Julius: It was fate if you didn’t; although, I did hear some yelling about a knife last night.
Denmark: There was no knife.
Julius: Is that it?
Denmark: Is that what?
Julius: Our only steak knife on the floor, next to Naomi?
Denmark: What knife?
Julius: It’s fate. A swirl and a rush buddy, that’s how we all go. (Julius exits)
Naomi: What’s fate? I wasn’t listening.
Denmark: Oh nothing, just us here together. Where we are now.
Naomi: Yeah, it’s so still. It’s like this is exactly what I’ve been waiting for. So, how does this work? Do we just stay here? Like this forever? I can move, I can walk, I can talk. Will this work?
Denmark: Will what work?
Naomi: Us. Together. Like this.
Denmark: You mean it? Me here and you, wherever you are?
Naomi: I’m still right here.
Denmark: I don’t see why not. To tell you the truth, I don’t even really want to go anywhere. It just feels really good right here.
Naomi: Yeah. It does. I feel like this is it. This is all there ever was. This is all there ever will be. This room. Are things moving too fast for you Denmark? (To audience) If this is a bad idea, you’ve just got to be straight with me. I’ve been down this road before.
Denmark: You’ve been dead before?
Naomi: No, I’ve been with assholes.
Denmark: I love you Naomi.
Naomi: I love you too Denmark. I guess we just met each other at a really interesting time.
Denmark: Yeah. Hey Naomi…
Naomi: (Naomi lies down and Denmark sits in his original seat) Yes Denmark?
Denmark: I see the knife now…Naomi?….Naomi?